Hello, 2019 and, hello new blog

Hello, 2019 and, hello new blog. This is the first and not last of my work, (work, ha makes me sound like I am a writer). You have clicked on my website because you like vintage perhaps. You ain't going to get me talking about my outfit of the day or how to make bunting. This is me, Alex. a mid 30's gal that likes the unusual, creative, retro and hates the word vintage, sorry. I know totally confusing as my business started because of that word. Really I just enjoyed shopping at charity shops and at car boot sales when I was at uni. Seeking out the most vibrant or kitsch object with my friends.

So, why now write one now? It is defiantly nothing to do with new year resolutions. I do not believe in them if you want to change your life you need to do it immediately. Our mantra is 'everything in moderation'. That can range from food, alcohol, people, work and exercise, basically anything even dogs! You can be with too many of them. I feel fortunate not to be obsessive about things (though some people think I have a cleaning obsession).

Okay, so back to our own question that I am asking myself. It is for a few reasons.

1: SEO. I know, boring but being a one-woman band I need to wear many hats. I never went to business school, I never picked up a book about how to be self-employed but I got intuition. So, I know you don't need intuition to know that SEO is good for your business, however, the best way to promote your business these days is through the internet. I am very switched on with Facebook and Instagram as it's visual and keeps the writing to a minimal. Though it's changing algorithms leave me scratching my head. Twitter, bores me, sorry to say. But I keep it as I think it's better to have a presence.

2: English. I mean grammar, punctuation's, spelling. I am just really bad at it all. Terrible seeing my business is 60% admin based. I must apologise to those that have received an email from me that had a typo, sorry. I really do go over my work, use spell check, and have Grammarly app to assist me. There is always going to be a massive chance I've left out a word. Fill the gaps kind of work I create. I never forget my English teacher asking me at school if English was my second language. WTF? Just because my surname is Croatian. I never got any support at school, I guess I was not seen that bad to be diagnosed as having dyslexia. So, I've pretty much struggled since then to get the best out of me. Writing to me is like doing sit-ups for some people. Painful. I would rather clean 100 toilets than write an essay. Hence why I ended up studying in creative based subjects and a degree that was 90% portfolio based. I really feel people judge me because I this. I am not stupid, but if you use the wrong 'there' people soon roll their eyes! Who the fuck decided there need to the two versions!?!

3: Diary. Dear Diary. I never wrote a diary when I was young however if I did I bet it would be full of typos and teenage angst. I would love read back at my shy, lonely, unique self. It may make me cry and laugh, but mainly into an insight into me. When I worked and travel abroad I wrote a couple of journals about my experiences. I've kept them and read them occasionally like love letters. I bloody love that I did as it brings back my nostalgic memories, just the same way looking into a photo. You start to illustrate beyond the page, taking your mind back to that point. I am hoping this blog with becoming my journal. My friend Helen has been doing something similar with her Love Project Love journal. I will take a look back in January 2020 to reflect back what I have achieved during 2019. I want to design a life and self I want to be.

4: Self. I love the work I have crafted for myself. Having no boss to restrict my creative pathway. Being the chief of my own business is a big responsibility. This at times can make me anxious. Thoughts like, will it be a success? What if it rains? What if no one turns up? Generally, all negative, unnecessary thoughts overwhelming my mind. Couple this with another self-issue I have been going through; love. Breaking up with a person that you love and admire totally rocks your boat. Being 35 (soon 36 in a few weeks) I really felt that I have come to a point of self-reflection. Am I a bad person? Why did this person fall out of love with me? Will I love again? I know, this all has a formula of a Judy Blume novel, so self-pitying. (Bear with me, I have minimal literature knowledge. I've read a very small amount of books in my 30 something life. Who else read Forever? I read 30 pages in then, skipped to the last chapter).

To help me deal with all of this head fuzz I have always benefited to get it out of one's head and down on paper. It doesn't have to make sense, just to cleanse the mind of all of those jumbled, pointless, unnecessary thoughts. New additions to help me have included, watching lots of TED Talks, practising more mindfulness, testing out new types of yoga including Quoya and Kundalini. I have also revisited old friends and frequented more often with current ones. All of this has really made me feel a lot more in tune with my self.

We all have been conditioned from a young age on how to perform physical hygiene, however, we weren't given the tools for our mental cleanliness. This breakup has been painful, though I know I will be okay. I thought this quote was poignant for my current self.

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

5: Hobby. I want to have fun with my blog. Well, I shall not be telling many jokes, though I will be of course be writing this just as I am speaking to you. I would like to try to enjoy writing. Making time once a week or every 10 days to write down what I have been up to. As well it is going to feature suppliers being involved in my events, news about my events and anything that I may just find interesting. So, not all about me, as that would make me a narcissist. Though some of you may want to know what I am eating for breakfast, lunch and even dinner. It's okay, I will spare you of that nonsense. So, there is it. Why I am writing a blog. Anything else I should add....well it probably had a few more benefits like it will prevent me from watching crappy reality TV. One of my guilty pleasures. I've even created a Whatsapp group with a couple of my friends where we feed each other on Z-list celeb news. It's a bit like Heat magazine. Utterly pointless. It's my version on mindfulness. Thank you for reading, and for persevering with the Alex version of writing. Namaste.


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